so art has to be these two things together -- care for aesthetic and care for concept.  art is the sum of two opposites. 

does spirituality work the same way?  is spirituality the sum of faith and action, of theology and conviction?  we have two opposites here (though some may disagree), those being action and understanding.  if i can trick myself into immersing myself in each of these together will i have gained a healthy spirituality?  lewis talks about how theology is a device to help us understand the "real thing," and should not be confused with that which it represents.  at the same time we cannot act blindly; works only have value insofar as they are done out of love.  so the question is this, are these two opposites the only requirements for being close to god, or is there a third, more divine ingredient that is spirituality?  is the holy spirit the aggregate of our choices, or is it an independent entity, acting upon us with its own will?  

i am pretty sure that i am satisfied that the holy spirit is something independent of our lives in every way, but it gets complicated when such emphasis is placed on the other two.  is the holy spirit god himself, or that which leads us to god? 

i don't know.  i know i'm not really completing any thought, but i feel like i need to leave this alone for a while.  i don't know what spirituality is. 

k

julie mehretu

"god, and what is meant by god, can only be grasped when we surrender our own conceptual understanding to the ineffable and holy mystery which lies hold on us as the mystery which is near to is and which embraces us in love."  karl rahner

are these opposites imagined too?  maybe if i could take a few more steps backward, i could then understand  things a little bit better. 

k